Mamahood

Second Guessing…

As a second time mom I’m a much more relaxed version of what I was the first time round. I wish I had told my first-time-mom “self” to ignore everyone’s unsolicited advice, with all their opinions and supposed sincere guidance of what my child should and shouldn’t be doing at certain stages of her development. All that chatter served no purpose but to make me second-guess myself at every turn and cause me undue insecurities.

As we’re now on our second child, the experience is significantly different. I’m dealing with two very different children. It is of course joyful and so enlightening. For the most part, our second daughter Evelyn has been a very laid back child. She’s sat back and taken it all in for the past 11 months, watching her older sister like a hawk and wanting to emulate Mabel and everything she does.

What I’ve thankfully learned is that babies are not textbook...
Evelyn on the move with the help of some wings!

What’s happened is that in Evelyn’s mind she can already walk. And at times she thinks she can even run. But obviously she can’t without our assistance. Which of course is so sweet but back breaking. She wants nothing to do with crawling. In fact, she only started to (kind of) crawl this past week, just a few days shy of her 1stbirthday. Now, if Evelyn were my first born and she still wasn’t crawling by this age, I would have automatically become concerned to put it mildly, as I probably would have been listening to people saying, “She should be crawling by now!” But what I’ve thankfully learned is that babies are not textbook. They are their own beings, mastering motor skills at their own pace, developing physically in due course. Sure there are guidelines but know that they aren’t written in stone. Ignore the chatter, embrace the joys! This is the kind of advice that would have been awesome!

The product pictured is called Walking Wings . It’s helped Evelyn get her balance, slight independence and legs underneath her. It also has saved our backs! We hold the straps up top and she walks. She loves it and can pretend to keep up with her big sister.

Did you relax more with the birth of your second child?

 

From my home to yours,

Emma xx

babymamahoodmommy guilt

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Rosemary Knapp - AreKay (RK) says:

Walking or crawling, she’s totally adorable!!!

Roxanne says:

Hi Emma! Great advice. Mama knows best. I wish I would have learned that the first time around too.
My two boys were very different children. Both with their own unique view of the world. They didn’t follow the same path. Each milestone was different with each one. The only thing that they did the same was steal my heart the moment they were born. Lol. Each day was an adventure. Some better than others. You had the days you wished would never end and then the days you wished it was over by noon so you wouldn’t have to pull all your hair out! Mind you that most of those days started with someone putting in their two cents and making you second guess what you had already decided was right for your child.

My second boy was born with severe asthma but was still the best natured little guy. I was definitely more relaxed with the second one despite his health issues. With my first one I worried so much about doing everything right and being the perfect mom that I missed out on some of the little things. By the time the second one came along I had learned that the textbook was merely a guide and that your own instincts

Roxanne says:

Would guide you through.
Sorry about that. My parrot landed on my lap and I was typing on my phone. His name is Gizmo and he loves to be involved with what I’m doing. Lol.
Now I guess you could say I am on my third time around with grandchildren. My granddaughter is the light of my life. She is a very spirited, sweet and loveable child who can definitely try my patience at times. (she is 3 1/2 )
My best advice to you is to follow your heart and your instincts. Somehow it really seems to work out the best.
My son would have loved one of those walking wings when Kloe was little. He is 6 ft. tall. I am just under 5′ 3″ so it was as much of a challenge for me. I figure by the time she is 8 she’ll probably be taller than me. Lol.
Thanks again Emma for sharing and writing this blog. I think you do an awesome job as a writer and a mom!

Till next time! 🙂
Roxanne

kc says:

Hi. First off thank you for the wonderul info you have shared since you started the blog. Please continue! My husband and i have been a fan of your husband since the early days but you seem to be so lovely and classy. Anyways i will be a first time mom and have all sorts of anxiety. There is so much info out there. But peaking in on your bllog from time to time has been very helpful. Also li love how others share info too. Please contulinue to give pointers on products to use. I love this particular one you have shared with us. Thank you and look forward to more sharing.
KC

Emma Heming Willis says:

I love that others share as well! It’s a nice community we are building 🙂
Thank you for stopping by 🙂 xx

Julia-Selina says:

Hi Emma,

OMG! Evelyn is so sweet as that seat in the ball pit and has fun. I know that, my niece (8 months old) has also something like and she loves it. She can spend hours in long.

Although my niece is 4 months younger than Evelyn, she already begins to crawl. She had already received 5 months of their first teeth. My experience, although I’m still not a mother, if you do a lot with the kids, they learn more quickly to understand things.

Kiss and Hugs Julia

Trixi says:

Even the birth itself was much more relaxed with my second child !! The birth of my first daughter was not easy and it took more than 16 hours …. I was very insecure and had a bunch of nurses who all gave me the feeling of doing everything wrong basically … when I went to hospital to give birth to my second daughter I was SO relaxed ! If there were people who tried to tell me what I could and couldn’t do : I didn’t care. Cause I knew better. In those 4 years with my first child I learned to trust my instincts !
And my girls, just like you said about yours, are also completely different …. it just seems like the second one learns everything so much faster … walking, talking, reading and writing… everything seems to be so easy for her….

I really love your blog ! I’m a fan of your husband since the first time he appeared in german TV ( and that was in 1989, so …… more than half my life 🙂 and it’s so fantastic to see you guys handle the same insecurities and worries about your children like every parent does. You have beautiful girls and you’re doing a great job !!! Greetings from Germany !

Desiree says:

I am 22 and engaged, I also have one child and she is nine months old. I love being a mom, and reading your blog has definitely made me feel a whole lot less lonely. And I speak in the terms of being a new mom and facing criticisms. And boy, do I hear criticisms that are just as you said “supposed sincere guidance.” Recently I went to a friends birthday party and the whole time I was there the grandmas and the aunts were all questioning me on what do I feed my baby? When I told them that I only feed her baby food and breast milk they began to tell me what I should be feeding her. One grandmother even said, in Spanish that I do not know how to take care of my baby! I was furious but I kept my composure and calmly said to her that She was rude and I walked away. To me that was crossing the line and totally disrespectful. When I told my friend what happened she took it as I “came out my face” to her grandma. Do you think that I crossed the line by saying that or was I wrong because she was an 80 year old woman? I didn’t apologize by the way.

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