If you love someone living with dementia, you’ve probably already noticed that communication can change—sometimes slowly, sometimes suddenly. Maybe conversations feel shorter than they used to. Maybe your loved one repeats the same questions or struggles to find the right words. Or maybe they’ve started responding with “I don’t know” more often than they used to.

Whatever the changes look like, one thing is certain: it’s emotional. It’s frustrating. It can be deeply lonely—for both of you. Communication is how we connect, express love, share memories, and navigate daily life. So, when it starts to shift, it can feel like the rules of the relationship are changing too.

But here’s the good news: communication isn’t all or nothing. Even when the words change, connection is still possible. And with a few simple tools and a better understanding of what’s going on in the brain, you can build a new way of relating—one that still honors the person you know and love.

What Exactly Is Changing?

Dementia affects parts of the brain responsible for both expressive communication (how we share information) and recepAve communication (how we understand information). But how that shows up depends on the individual, the type of dementia they have, and what part of the brain is most affected.

While everyone’s experience is unique, here are a few common communication challenges you might notice as dementia progresses:

• Word-finding difficulties: They may pause mid-sentence or use vague language like “thingy” or “you know what I mean.”
• RepeAAon: Repeating the same stories, questions, or phrases—even within the same conversation.
• Irrelevant responses: They may respond to something you didn’t say or go off-topic unexpectedly.
• Difficulty understanding: They might struggle to follow conversations, especially if there are multiple people talking or background noise.

It can be easy to interpret these changes as stubbornness or disinterest—but they are usually just symptoms of a brain that’s working differently now.

You might hear “I’m fine” when you ask if they’re hungry, even though you know they haven’t eaten all day. Or they might get overwhelmed by too many choices, like when you ask, “What do you want for dinner?” and they respond with “nothing.” These aren’t necessarily refusals— they’re signals that communication is becoming more effortful.

So, what can you do?

Let’s talk about six practical, powerful ways you can improve communication and connection— starting today.

6 Communication Tips when InteracAng with Someone Living with Dementia

1. Slow Down and Give Space to Respond
A pause can be one of the most powerful tools you use. Processing takes longer when someone is living with dementia—so while you might expect a reply in two seconds, they might need five or ten. That silence can feel uncomfortable, but it’s okay to sit in it. Resist the urge to jump in, reword what you said, or guess their response.

Try this: Ask one question at a time, and after you speak, count to ten in your head before repeating or rephrasing. You might be surprised by what comes next.

2. Simplify Language Without Talking Down
Let me be clear: simplifying your speech is not the same as talking to someone like a child. That high-pitched, overly sweet tone some people use—saying things like “Sweetie, let’s go potty now!”—is known as elderspeak. It might feel affectionate, but research shows it can come across as patronizing and may actually make communication more difficult.

Instead, focus on being clear, direct, and respectful. Speak in a way that’s easy to understand, but still honors the adult you’re talking to.

Instead of: “Let’s hit the road and grab some grub.”
Try: “Let’s get in the car and go have lunch.”

3. Use Visual Cues and Written Notes
If it feels like your words aren’t landing—like you’re talking but not really being understood—it might be time to lean less on verbal instructions and more on visual support. Simple gestures, pointing, or showing the object you’re referring to can go a long way.

And here’s something many people don’t realize: most individuals with dementia can still read, even if they no longer enjoy books or newspapers. That means you can write down important information, reminders, or answers to repeated questions to support understanding and reduce frustration.

Try this: If they’re asking the same question over and over, write the answer on a sticky note and hand it to them to read. This gives them something concrete to refer back to— and gives your voice a break.

4. Offer Choices—But Keep Them Simple
Open-ended questions like “What do you want to eat?” or “What do you feel like doing today?” can be overwhelming. To answer these kinds of questions, there are so many things they have to consider and that takes time! Instead, offer two options or a yes/no question. Limiting choices reduces decision fatigue and empowers your loved one to express preferences in a manageable way.

Try this:
• “Would you like spaghe` or chicken?”
• “Do you want to go outside or stay in the living room?”

5. Focus on Feelings, Not Facts
Facts can get fuzzy. Names, dates, even familiar places might get confused. But emotions? They stay accessible much longer. By focusing on how they feel, you give them space to connect without pressure to perform or remember.

Try this: Instead of saying “Do you remember our trip to the beach in 1998?” say, “I remember loving to go to the beach with you. I always felt peaceful there. Did you feel that too?”

6. Use Fewer Pronouns
Words like he, she, they, and it rely on short-term memory to make sense. If someone doesn’t remember the earlier part of a conversation, they won’t know who or what you’re talking about.

Try this: Instead of saying, “She said it was ready,” say, “Your daughter Sarah said your lunch is ready.”

When Communication Changes, So Does Connection—But It’s Not Gone

If no one has told you this yet: it’s okay to grieve this change. When the words aren’t there, it can feel like the relationship is fading. It’s not. It’s evolving.

Maybe the conversations are shorter now. Maybe they’re harder to follow. But with some flexibility, creativity, and support, you can sAll have moments of connection, laughter, and meaning. It might look different than it used to, but it’s still real—and it still matters.

Every small success, every shared smile, every moment of understanding is a victory worth Celebrating.

When to Ask for Help: The Role of a Speech-Language Pathologist

You don’t have to figure this out alone. A speech-language pathologist (SLP) is specially trained to evaluate, treat, and support individuals experiencing changes in communication and cognition due to dementia.

SLPs can:

• Assess specific language and communication abilities
• Provide personalized strategies for both the person living with dementia and their caregivers
• Offer tools for safe swallowing if that becomes a concern
• Help caregivers interpret confusing behavior as communication

You can ask your primary care physician, neurologist, or memory care team for a referral to a speech therapist—or reach out directly to a local clinic or home health provider.

The earlier you ask for support, the more effective the interventions can be.

Final Thoughts

Caregiving is hard—and communication challenges can make it even harder. But just by reading this, you’re already showing up with love, patience, and a willingness to learn. That makes all the difference.

You don’t need to have perfect words. You just need to meet your person where they are, offer kindness, and keep showing up. Because even when the words change, connection is sAll possible. You’ve got this.